“Forgiveness means I no longer carry it as an open wound.” That stopped me. So often forgiveness is mistaken for forgetting, excusing, reconciling, or making the past more acceptable than it was. But this offers something far more honest: the wound can close while the memory remains. We can release ill will without surrendering our boundaries or denying the harm. I also deeply appreciate your insistence that caregiving is a personal choice shaped by values, history, and capacity—not a moral requirement or a redemption story. Your choice is yours, made possible by years of work. That truth leaves room for others to choose differently without shame.
I so appreciate the nuance you bring to this choice, and the ways you found to honor yourself and your sister, while attending to your dad. Thanks for helping other people think through this.
I love that you’ve forgiven and moved on in the care of your parents. Sometimes we forget to consider how our parents were raised. Thanks for the lovely essay.
“Forgiveness means I no longer carry it as an open wound.” That stopped me. So often forgiveness is mistaken for forgetting, excusing, reconciling, or making the past more acceptable than it was. But this offers something far more honest: the wound can close while the memory remains. We can release ill will without surrendering our boundaries or denying the harm. I also deeply appreciate your insistence that caregiving is a personal choice shaped by values, history, and capacity—not a moral requirement or a redemption story. Your choice is yours, made possible by years of work. That truth leaves room for others to choose differently without shame.
Yes, it is always a deeply personal and nuanced decision.
I so appreciate the nuance you bring to this choice, and the ways you found to honor yourself and your sister, while attending to your dad. Thanks for helping other people think through this.
Compassion for one's self is a gift to the world. Liz, you continually hold up a mirror for others to see themselves more clearly.
This is the kind of nuanced honesty and authenticity that I love about you. Beautiful.
I love that you’ve forgiven and moved on in the care of your parents. Sometimes we forget to consider how our parents were raised. Thanks for the lovely essay.
❤️🤗